At a recent
conference I heard psychologist Dr Fernando from Auckland University talk about
‘Mindfulness’.
He described mindfulness as a state of active,
open attention on the present. When you are being mindful you are actively
living in the moment and not allowing life to pass you by as you are distracted
by negative thoughts, worries or things that need to be done. It’s finding time
in our busy world to have some ‘stillness and silence’ to bring us back to our
calm essence. It’s about dealing with
life’s conflicts and challenges in a calm manner, avoiding habitual responses
when life doesn’t go our way. It’s about perspective and the acknowledgement of
the simple pleasures of life including laughter. It’s about being a compassionate person to
yourself and to others and it is definitely about being non-judgemental, kind,
optimistic and being grateful.
This concept of gratitude was particularly
promoted and Dr Fernando encouraged all his students to keep a gratitude diary
where each day they would find 5-10 minutes quiet time to write down things
they were happy or grateful for. He said the discipline of this can be powerful
in training our minds to be positive. It’s akin to saying prayers of gratitude
that some families practice each evening. Even saying grace before a meal makes
us stop and be grateful. ‘For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us
truly grateful’. Your Lord (God) may be different from my Lord (God), but your
religious belief doesn’t matter here, we are stopping to be grateful.
I was taken by this
theme of mindfulness as they are important aspects of Wellesley but yet we have
not labelled them as such. We are certainly promoting these important aspects
of emotional intelligence as they are powerful tools in anyone’s life.
A few weeks ago I was
taken by an article in the DomPost in the Health and Wellbeing section
entitled, “How Socrates saved my life.” I have included part of the article
below. These coping strategies are powerful for adults but I also believe that
age appropriately, we can empower children with some of them by fostering the
key messages.
FIVE COPING STRATEGIES FROM STOIC
PHILOSOPHY
Accept
the limit of your control
Over externals The Stoic philosopher
Epictetus wrote:
“Some things are up to us, others are
not.” We don’t have complete control
over externals, despite our best efforts, but we do have control over our
thoughts and beliefs – so concentrate your energy there.
Focus
on the present moment
Seneca, another Stoic wrote:
“What is the point of dragging up
sufferings that are over, of being miserable now, because you were miserable
then? We can go through life walking
backwards, constantly ruminating on past injuries or on how things were better
in the past. Likewise, we can worry
endlessly about the future. Or we can
simply choose to make the most of the present.
We
are what we repeatedly do
The key to the good life is good
habits. Memorise certain maxims and see
every situation as an opportunity for training.
Contemplate
the universe
If ancient philosophers were
particularly stressed, they would find a quiet place and imagine the vast expanse
of the universe. At such times the Stoic
philosopher and Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius told himself: “Many of the anxieties that harass you are superfluous
…..Expand into an ampler region, letting your thought sweep over the entire
universe.
Let
love lift you up
Plato claimed that the secret to
philosophy was learning to love. He
believed we could lift ourselves out of egotism by passionately loving other
people, or beauty, or goodness and through love we could even connect to God.
You might not agree with, or relate
to, all of the above, but I hope it got you thinking.
The
concept of Mindfulness is very broad and could include meditation or similar.
Mental resilience can be likened to being physically fit. The fitter you are both
mentally and physically (and there is a synergy there) the more likely you will
be to handle the stresses and strains of life. If we can foster these skills
and attitudes with our children, they will have them for life. This sounds very
‘new age’ but it doesn’t have to be a ‘big deal’ but just a quiet and normal
part of learning and living a positive life.
