Best to 'Walk our Talk'

In a recent study it was found that 90% of American parents say their top priority for their children is for them to be kind and caring! I would say from my experience as a parent and what I have seen in my 40 years of being an educator in primary schools, NZ parents would say the same thing.

This of course is what we all want for our young as we see our world fraught with complex and sad issues of poverty, violence and greed.

However, when the study dug into reality and asked the children what did their parents want and value from them most of all, they said things like good grades, doing well at school and getting a good report.

We can underestimate children’s ability to see what parents really value. Words are cheap and unless we truly model what we say, our young ones will zone in what adults really prioritise.

This hypocrisy can be very accidental as most adults truly want their young ones to be kind and caring.  In their article, the authors, Adam Grant and Allison Sweet Grant, went on to talk about a subsequent study that demonstrated that kindness appears to be on the decline.   “ A rigorous analysis of annual surveys of American college students showed a substantial drop from 1979 to 2009 in empathy and in imagining the perspectives of others. Over this period, students grew less likely to feel concern for people less fortunate than themselves—and less bothered by seeing others treated unfairly.”

This is scary stuff in a world that has so many challenges. It is abundantly clear, we can do better! However much we praise kindness and caring, we are not showing our children we value these attributes.Accidentally we can become so focussed and worried about academic achievement we fail to nurture kindness as well as we think we are. We can inadvertently promote our children’s achievement accolades as personal badges of pride.

We are all guilty of this and it is time to reflect on what balance exists between our celebrating achievement versus the character traits of empathy and care. In some ways promoting E.Q. over I.Q.

Ironically many successful and happy people are strong in E.Q.

In the article, it suggests making explicit efforts to promote what is valued in your home. For example, at the dinner table ask the children questions related to your values such as, ‘did you help someone at school out today?’ We need to look for opportunities to praise children for caring acts. Talk to your children about being mindful of the friends they foster. Encourage them to notice classmates who are kind and compassionate versus those who might be popular but not necessarily kind.

I see lots of very positive things going in the school I work at (Waterloo) but the article I have referenced has made me sit up and review what we are doing with the aim of striving to be better. ‘Treat other people as you wish to be treated’ is a strong and meaningful mantra. I also think we have to be very explicit with children and actively foster in them to be courageous. To stand up for what is decent and right.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2019/12/stop-trying-to-raise-successful-kids/600751/

Being United

(Footnote below)

I have just finished reading Michelle Obama's book 'Becoming'. I was keen to read her book as she comes across as a person with great dignity, integrity and courage.

Towards the end of the book she addresses a question she has been asked many times. She said,

"I have no intention of running for office, ever. I've never been a fan of politics, and my experience over the last ten years has done little to change that. I continue to be put off by the nastiness---the tribal separation of red and blue, this idea that we are supposed to choose one side and stick to it, unable to listen and compromise, or even be civil.” (p419)

This was music to me ears as I have struggled with the combative and hypocritical nature of politics.

In an earlier blog post I talked about this concern and offered my views on a possible better way. I have repeated much of this below as I have been further inspired by Michelle Obama's strong views.

There is no doubt about it, ‘together everyone achieves more’. Over the years we have all watched New Zealand’s political circus of punch and counter punch. When election time comes around the hype and marketing builds. Unfortunately some ‘over promising’ can happen and this of course comes with quite a bit of under-delivering once elected.  No matter how principled people are, they usually vote with self-interest and who can blame them.

The current situation is no different.  The reality is, New Zealand has a combative and party dogma centred construct of governing. Under this model how is it possible to harness the best of what we have and have a fully unified, inclusive and powerful strategy ahead!

We have a choice. We can accept this as is and carry on regardless. To be fair, New Zealand can be proud of much of what has been achieved in recent times, including getting through in pretty good shape after the challenges of the Christchurch earthquakes, recessions and of course the global financial crisis (GFC). However, everyone would agree, the gap between those ‘who have’ and those ‘who have not’ is far too wide. Our education, health and social sectors are underfunded and operate in an uncoordinated fashion. That’s probably too harsh but a cross disciplinary approach would be more powerful.

A fundamental question needs to be asked. If you were responsible for a large number of people’s welfare and their asset base, would you set up a system of governance as we have currently?

I personally wouldn’t. I may be naive, in fact I know I am but the idea of a meritocracy of sorts has much merit in my mind. Democracy has to be at the heart of this.

I believe most New Zealanders have a very similar vision for our country. I also believe most would ascribe to very similar principles and values. For example, most New Zealanders believe in democracy, racial and gender equity, environmental sustainability, freedom of speech and so on.

If a shared vision was democratically settled on and then the agreed principles and values we wish to live by are agreed, we would then have the basis to create a shared strategic plan and related goals to implement.  These goals would be far ranging having targets across the spectrum of what we hold dear as New Zealand citizens. Of course these goals would need to be revisited regularly to ensure they still have the powerful relevancy and currency required.

Having a shared and ‘owned’ approach like this would take out the enormous amount of time we waste on petty and quite often personal political debates which cause division and take the energy away from what is important.

This would also take away the need for political parties and allow passionate people to put their hand up for election to New Zealand’s  1st XV who would take up the responsibility for leadership. I use the term 1st XV with ‘tongue in cheek’ as it is a parlance many would recognise. Essentially the best people for the job similar to a Board of Trustees. Right now, my vote would be for Jacinda to be captain and coach. I see many others across the parties who have so much to offer NZ but are caught up in party politics and ‘treading water’.

I, like you want the best for NZ. We should aspire to be a role model for the rest of the world as our planet is in a perilous state.

Before you dismiss this idea as nonsense, debate it with your family and friends as I know we can do better. Let’s get our best people on the park as together everyone achieves more.

This wonderful poem is very related to what has been said.

Footnote: Teamwork picture. Apologies but my eyes can't quite read the credits. Hopefully you can.

Let’s Get Real

This blog entry is a brief attempt to summarise a few key ‘silver bullets’ to transform our education system. I underline the point that this would not require increasing the Government Education ‘purse’ but would require a change of spending priorities.

I have come to these views after being a principal for 24 years and in education for over 40 years. These years have not been merely at the ‘chalk face’ but also engaged in my own extensive reading and writing about education.

In addition to this, I have talked to a wide range of other experienced principals who share the same or very similar views.

Silver Bullet # 1  Learning and Behaviour Support

I have put this as Number 1 because this is very urgent and would make an enormous difference to schools’ morale and performance. There are many, many angry principals out there who see this as a ‘no brainer’.

Appoint teacher assistants (para-professionals) in every class or at least 1 to every two classes. This is a crude allocation but essentially we need to up teacher support so the teachers can focus more intently on teaching and learning. Currently we have teachers drawn away from this focus by very unfair situations such as severe learning and behaviour/safety needs.

The sooner all schools get dedicated SENCOs related to roll numbers the better. These specialist teachers would coordinate the teaching and learning of the more challenging students and coordinate T.A. (para-professional) support and teacher interaction.

Silver Bullet # 2 Teacher Training

Teacher training model needs to be reviewed and it is! The cautionary notes I would make here are:

1. Prioritise what it is to be a teacher and don’t squeeze the experience into one year.

2. Don’t over intellectualise the courses. There is too much emphasis on qualification v understanding of what it is to be a teacher and the holistic and developmental nature of learning.

If we get this right the sector would see a significant and sustained boost in life-long learning and achievement.

Promote teachers as inquirers. Give them time to think, watch, absorb and do their magic but be rigorous and have high expectations. To be fair, this concept of teacher inquiry is being promoted but for a while undermined by over the top expectations from 'the powers that be' for teachers to justify  their existence by detailed record keeping as part of an appraisal process.

Silver Bullet # 3 Quality Assurance

The currently accountability model of assurance checks on schools should be tweaked to a rigorous guidance model. Accountability is a must but the focus must be on implementing best practice with minimum bureaucracy and death by paperwork. Enough ‘talking the talk’, schools should only need to ‘walk the talk’. We need a High Trust model supported by advisors. Then if a school loses this trust early intervention will be needed.

Focus on teaching and learning with ‘hard fun’ at the centre. We must have high expectations for our students appropriate to age and particularly stage. Confidence is everything and learning is developmental! We don’t all get concepts in a linear order nor at the same time. Many young people do not achieve a sense of themselves as an independent learner until their mid-twenties. In our current model, too many of these young people feel a sense of failure as they transition out of school because they haven’t yet jumped the education hurdles implicitly and explicitly expected of them by the system. If we truly believe in life-long learning, then our model must change.

We all learn differently and as Bruce Springsteen wisely said, “One problem with the way our education system is set up is that it only recognises a certain type of intelligence, and it’s incredibly restrictive. There’s so many types of intelligence, and people who would be at their best outside of that structure get lost.”

Boredom is a Great Teacher

Boredom is a great teacher. Without it there wouldn’t be any spaces in a child’s day to dream, wonder and struggle with time on their hands. Boredom allows space and opportunity for creativity and the development of independence.

Is your child running from one after school activity to another? Do you feel like you are so busy driving your children here there and everywhere that at times you feel over-whelmed? This is not unusual and it can creep up on you. Parenting is one of the toughest jobs you will ever have.

The reality of our world today is there is so much choice for extra-curricular activities. Children can be pushed to their limits and end up not doing anything justice. (maybe even compromising their team mates and/or tutors/coaches)  The result can mean over-busy days and children who are frazzled and often parents too! Parents are not always at fault as children can put pressure on parents to participate in things that look ‘fun’.

Making hard choices is a life skill and we as the adults need to foster this decision making skill. Children need down time to really flourish and grow. Being able to appreciate being still and chilling out is also a life skill. I encourage you to foster these life skills and that may mean at times you need to be an active influence on decision making for over-zealous children.

If the adults in their lives are also rushing about and frantic all the time, our children will come to believe that is how life is supposed to be. However, if we can model a slower pace and make time to ‘chill out’ and create slower paced moments, then we open up a more intentional dynamic of healthy living. Simple opportunities such as sitting down together for meal times, playing a board game, or cards, or going on a short slow walk around the block gives a strong well-being message and cements life-long habits.

Creating Life Long Lovers of Learning

                                                         Actions Speak Louder Than Words

If I was asked what is important in education I would probably say first and foremost, to promote Emotional Intelligence (E.Q.) and in particular kindness. With this front and centre, all else is possible.

The next level of importance for me is to foster life-long learning. A very key aspect of facilitating this outcome is
to provide the conditions where children are supported to see their world, grapple with it, play with it and express
their ‘take on it’ through their amazing creative self. We just need to help them experience wonder, joy, discovery,
adventure and personal achievement whilst skillfully building their resilience, curiosity, creativity and of course those
foundational skills which open the world of communication and reasoning.

This is easy said, but hard to achieve. However if we are determined to build our capability around  this philosophy,
then our children will not only become capable learners, they will become life-long lovers of learning. This is no
soft, new age thinking  approach as it demands high expectations, rigour, humility and tenacity by those skilled
educators taking on this challenge.

I like a lot of the Montessori philosophy as their two main goals are to build this love of learning and confidence in
children. The Montessori approach provides a child with extended time in which to develop their emerging cognitive
abilities acknowledging the developmental nature of learning. This developmental and personalised approach fits
well with what I have said above.

So what’s new? Not a lot as this has been said by all ‘n sundry’ for centuries. The ‘powers that be’ who set policy
have the best intentions and are usually well informed but in their attempt to create the ideal conditions for learning
in schools, they have often stumbled.

The main area of this ‘stumble’ is their desire to see accountability. Often blunt tools are used which require schools
to justify their existence. National Standards was one of those tools as is ‘teacher inquiry’ where teachers are
directed to  inquire into their practice and provide a trail of evidence to show they are going through a cycle of
review of their teaching. Of course this practice of trialing new approaches to maximise student learning is very
important, but it has always been part of a good teacher’s repertoire of practice. It is to be fostered and expected.
Unfortunately though, the compliance expectations have often been misinterpreted so ‘teacher inquiry’ became
‘bigger than Texas’ for some schools. This has caused frustration, anxiety, stress and confusion for some teachers
and they can spend an inordinate amount of quality time filling in their trail of evidence to meet the school’s
requirements!!

Thank goodness national standards have been scrapped and clear messages have come from the Minister of
Education that teacher appraisal as we know it needs re-defining. 

I am cautiously optimistic about the future here. However, I am hoping some new assessment ‘ruler’ is not created
to promote teacher / school accountability as students do not learn concepts in a linear fashion and to date, this
approach has been counter productive in the primary sector.  Equally, teachers need to be accountable and we
need to promote and encourage teachers thinking and inquiring into their practice. We need to have high
expectations and then give them time to think, watch, absorb and do their magic.

The very well respected educationalist and author, David Stewart said in 1997, ‘ ...it will be necessary to step
beyond the current obsession with measuring short term inputs and outputs and attempting to decide whether
individual teachers meet some mythical standard which is so difficult to express. Instead we need to address
teaching as a form of intellectual endeavour as opposed to a collection of definable tasks, and devise
methodologies which both increase teachers’ intellectual fluency and provide time, space and incentive for all staff
to engage in critical reflection of their work.” 

I agree and the accountability model of assurance checks on schools should be tweaked to a rigorous guidance model.
Accountability is a must but the focus should be on sustainable progress implementing best practice within minimum
bureaucracy and ‘death by paperwork’. 

Enough ‘talking the talk’, schools should only  ‘walk their talk’.

What does love look like?

Teamwork in Year 1

When things go wrong in a child’s life, either at home or school, a basic but very important question cuts through all the other dialogue adults engage in.

What do you want for your child ? On the face of it, this is a simple question. most parents would say they want
their child to be kind, resilient, responsible, secure in themselves and with their peers, happy and confident,
loving and keen to learn.

Over my 40 plus years being an educator I have met many parents about their child’s behaviour and/or

happiness at school. In these situations, parents are usually upset and in some cases very emotional. Quite often

the child has been having trouble with peers and a lot of blame is attached to how these children are

treating the child concerned. Some families want punitive action against these other children. In many cases

the child who is having trouble has a history of ‘scratchy’ relationships with other children and in some cases

taken the ‘victim’ approach. Everyone is ‘picking on me’. Usually when I have ‘dug into’ the situation the issue is

complex but quite often, it comes down to the child not having the skills to form strong relationships.

They are fragile, feeling insecure and get into the ‘fight’ or ‘flight’ mode quickly.

Some children have difficulty making friendships usually because they have yet to learn some of the simple
fundamental rules about developing positive relationships. Sadly this deficit can burden the individual for life.

If a child has been regularly indulged by their parents they innocently learn to respond to their world as if they
are the ‘centre of the universe’.

In her article ‘How to Ensure Kids Know They’re Not the Centre of the Universe’, Katie Mertes says, “In a
materialistic world focused on having the latest and greatest, the biggest and best, our children are headed
down a dangerous path of being robbed of their joy. Consider this: if a child grows up with the mindset of always
needing more, never sitting with contentment, never practising true gratitude, we are inadvertently telling them
that life is meant to serve them. They will be completely unprepared to enter the “real world” where hard work
is necessary and important, and things are not handed to them.” Her short article is worth a quick read.
https://www.mother.ly/parenting/how-to-ensure-kids-know-theyre-not-the-center-of-the-universe

It is rather cliched but the old book of ‘How to win friends and influence people’, (1) has advice which pertains to
us all, adults and children alike. It is not rocket science.

Some key advice for children

1. Show genuine interest in other people. ( it’s not all about ‘me’)
2. Be warm and friendly. (smile)
3. Know your peers names.
4. Be a good listener. (again, it’s not all about ‘me’)
5. Talk about or ask about the other person’s interests.
6. Be willing to help the other person feel positive about themselves by complimenting them on things.
7. Show respect for the other person’s viewpoint. It is important children feel comfortable to express their

own viewpoint and maybe agree to disagree rather than saying they are wrong. (don’t have to agree
but you can listen and try and see what is being said from the other person’s viewpoint)

This may come across as insincere and manipulative but it will only be this way if the child is not sincere about
wanting to be friendly and they don’t truly care about the other person’s feelings.

Modelling is the key--if you swear they will swear.  If you put people down in subtle or not so subtle ways, they
will will learn to do this. If you behave like a bully (mental or physical) or  gossip about people, they will learn to
become bullies and gossips. If you eat unhealthily, they will more than likely take on these habits. If you have a
‘victim mentality’ blaming everyone but yourself for the misfortunes of life, your children will more than likely
take on this persona.

Our school values are a good place to start. These 3 basic tenants of life are a good compass for us all. Respect,
Responsibility and Resilience.

These values represent how we all should try and live our lives. I say try because it is really hard being a good
parent and it is not about being a paragon of virtue.

So going back to my original question, ‘what does love look like?’ Well for me it is about supporting children to
be decent human beings who can contribute to society in positive ways. If we can do this our children will be
secure and happy and full of appreciation and love. Often this can require tough love. **

Habits are formed early in life and there is more than some truth in the famous quote by Aristotle, the famous
philosopher (384BC) “Give me a child until they are 7 and I will show you the man.” The upshot clearly is to start
early with children and be consistent with your support and expectations.

There are a million pieces of advice available around all this and I don’t mean to sound as if I have all the
answers because I don’t. However, a good place to start is looking at ourselves and what we are modelling.

1. Dale Carnegie  ‘How to win friends and influence people’.

**Tough love is a parenting approach that can help children see that although their parents love them, they aren't going to
enable them. Tough love parenting can still be warm and empathetic.  It involves clear boundaries and limits.
Consequences are enforced as a way to teach teens life lessons.

Tough love is not about being hard and punitive. Looking for positive behaviour and praising it is so powerful and this
should always be the focus but at times boundaries and expectations will need to be enforced quietly, consistently and
calmly. Don’t give way to tantrums, melt downs or victim behaviour.

A Shared Vision for Aotearoa

There is no doubt about it, ‘together everyone achieves more’. Over the years we have all watched New Zealand’s political circus of punch and counter punch. When election time comes around the hype and marketing builds. Unfortunately some ‘over promising’ can happen and this of course comes with quite a bit of under-delivering once elected.  No matter how principled people are, they usually vote with self interest and who can blame them.

The current situation is no different.  The reality is, New Zealand has a combative and party dogma centred construct of governing. Under this model how is it possible to harness the best of what we have and have a fully unified, inclusive and powerful strategy ahead!

We have a choice. We can accept this as is and carry on regardless. To be fair, New Zealand can be proud of much of what has been achieved in recent times, including getting through in pretty good shape after the challenges of the Christchurch earthquakes, recessions and of course the global financial crisis (GFC). However, everyone would agree, the gap between those ‘who have’ and those ‘who have not’ is far too wide. Our education, health and social sectors are underfunded and operate in an uncoordinated fashion. That’s probably too harsh but a cross disciplinary approach would be more powerful.

A fundamental question needs to be asked. If you were responsible for a large number of people’s welfare and their asset base, would you set up a system of governance as we have currently?

I personally wouldn’t. I may be naive, in fact I know I am but the idea of a meritocracy of sorts has much merit in my mind. Democracy has to be at the heart of this.

I believe most New Zealanders have a very similar vision for our country. I also believe most would ascribe to very similar principles and values. For example, most New Zealanders believe in democracy, racial and gender equity, environmental sustainability, freedom of speech and so on.

If a shared vision was democratically settled on and then the agreed principles and values we wish to live by are agreed, we would then have the basis to create a shared strategic plan and related goals to implement.  These goals would be far ranging having targets across the spectrum of what we hold dear as New Zealand citizens. Of course these goals would need to be revisited regularly to ensure they still have the powerful relevancy and currency required.

Having a shared and ‘owned’ approach like this would take out the enormous amount of time we waste on petty and quite often personal political debates which cause division and take the energy away from what is important.

This would also take away the need for political parties and allow passionate people to put their hand up for election to New Zealand’s  1st XV who would take up the responsibility for leadership. I use the term 1st XV with ‘tongue in cheek’ as it is a parlance many would recognise. Essentially the best people for the job similar to a Board of Trustees. Right now, my vote would be for Jacinda to be captain and coach. I see many others across the parties who have so much to offer NZ but are caught up in party politics and ‘treading water’.

I like you want the best for NZ as much as a role model for the rest of the world as our planet is in a perilous state.

Before you dismiss this idea as nonsense, debate it with your family and friends as I know we can do better. Let’s get our best people on the park as together everyone achieves more.

Picture ref:  https://www.slideshare.net/mikecardus/inspire-shared-vision-presentation